#186 – Affirming your Doubts

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As always, Easter has illuminated the gospel accounts of the resurrection of Jesus in a new way. This year, however, what struck me most about the resurrection was the place of ‘doubt and uncertainty’ in the hearts and minds of the followers of Jesus. A close inspection of the narratives shows that these two words overlay practically every encounter with the risen Lord without exception.

The first people to encounter the risen Lord were the women who went with spices to the tomb on the first day of the week. What is blindingly obvious is the fact that they didn’t have the slightest expectation of finding Jesus risen, even though they had been told to expect it. In Luke’s account we are told that the women then went back to the eleven who in typical Rene Artois style must have said, ‘you stupid women!’ So it’s clear that even the eleven, the ones most likely to have cottoned on would accept the validity of the women’s testimony. And then we have our friend Thomas, remembered the world over, much to his embarrassment no doubt, as the ‘doubter’. Why was he any different from the rest? All he wanted was to see Jesus for himself. And then there’s Cleopas and his companion walking from Jerusalem to Emmaus. Even the presence of Jesus walking beside them and giving an impromptu Bible study wasn’t sufficient to convince them that it was him.

It’s almost as if the gospel-writers make a virtue out of doubting. They don’t seem at all embarrassed to admit that none of Jesus’ disciples had the gumption to twig that what he had predicted would come true. Even as late as Matthew 28 when Jesus commissioned the disciples to reach out to the nations in his name, we find that still some doubted. Frankly, the gospels don’t give faith a ‘look in’ during the Easter-Pentecost window.

I have been reading two contrasting and yet complementary books recently. The first is one which I received as a birthday present and not one I would have naturally chosen myself. It is an international bestseller (so the cover says) entitled, ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle, a German teacher on spirituality who, at the age of 29 was so depressed, to the point of suicidal, when he realised that his problem lay in his mind. The bottom line of the book is summed up in the phrase, ‘you are not your mind’. He found that there was so much ‘mind noise’ going on in his head that it was taking him over and ruling his life. He advocates that we need to become a non-critical observer of the mind and live in the ‘now’ rather than being dominated by problems from the past and fears about the future. Although I can appreciate where he’s coming from, I think we need to heed Paul’s advice in Romans 12:2 when he urges us, ‘Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…’

The second book is Pete Greig’s ‘God on Mute’ in which the founder of the 24/7 Prayer Movement speaks honestly about the unanswered prayers in his life, especially as the founding of the 24/7 Prayer Movement coincided with his wife’s brain tumour which, despite feverish prayer, was not healed. This book is a must for anyone struggling with doubts over prayer and issues of theodicy - reconciling the existence of a loving God with the presence of evil and undeserved suffering.

What both of these books reveal is that we are constantly at war with doubts and uncertainties, many of which buzz around in our minds at the most unwelcome of times. Well, nothing’s new here. Right back on the first Easter Day, the followers of Jesus were beset with the same problem of trying to get their heads around something that was totally beyond their comprehension and previous experience. It is not uncommon in scripture and throughout Christian history to find doubts invading faithful people, especially after spiritual high moments. John Wesley has such a moment on May 25th 1738.

Having preached today (Easter Day) on this very subject, I was surprised to find (I shouldn’t have been really) how many people struggle in this area. We were reminded by a speaker on ‘Songs of Praise’ which came from Jerusalem tonight, that although we call Thomas the doubter, he is not called the disbeliever. Many of us echo the words of the man with an epileptic son who cried out to Jesus, ‘I believe, help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). I believe it is important to recognise that doubts are not a sign of weakness but can, if affirmed and accepted as part of the human condition, draw us closer to God in prayer and faith.